I was around 9 years old when I raised my hand among 30-odd students when asked, ‘Who can say the pledge confidently?’ To this day, I remember my unwavering confidence in reciting it perfectly, which led to being selected as the House Leader for my house. Countless such experiences have helped shape who I am today, as I build Stage To Success, a platform aimed at empowering leaders in self-expression.
My journey, spanning over 15 years in the corporate world—where I facilitated training for more than 1,500 people, interviewed top industry leaders, and anchored on stage and in front of the camera—has shared a common core: the belief that impact is my calling, and I create it through the confidence I embody in my expression. |
I must confess! Every new day on stage or when coaching leaders, and every time I tell the Kalaneca story to an audience, is a day that tests my nervous system. People assume that those who speak confidently are NOT NERVOUS. This is far from the truth.
Fundamentally, nervousness stems from Three main reasons:
1. Lack of preparation
2. The idea of trying to ensure your speech is loved by all.
3. Fear of judgement
If there is one truth, it is – You will never be liked by ALL.
The day I realised this, I was able to deliver my best because I was not attached to the outcome of being liked by all. While most of the speakers feel a little jittery, it is the way they manage their nervousness that helps them deliver their best speech.
Confidence isn’t a gift you’re born with or a rare talent; you develop it through preparation and carry it with presence. Of course, presence doesn’t happen by accident; it’s cultivated through deliberate effort. A few minutes of breathwork steadies my nerves. A grounding practice — feeling my feet press into the floor — reminds me I belong where I stand.
Here are my three rituals I swear by, before stepping onto a big stage or camera:
Holding a Pen/ Clicker/ Marker / Paper
There is immense power in holding on to something. It could be a microphone, a pen while delivering your thoughts, or even a piece of paper with notes. By doing so, you are transferring all your nervousness to that thing.
Train your voice
I started doing this at the age of 5 when my father handed over the newspaper to my sister and me to READ the news. We chose to READ the news aloud. So, take a magazine or newspaper and read the lines. Start focusing on enunciating the keywords. By doing so, you are training not just your voice but your mind as well. When alone in your house, say the same line at different pitches, volumes and reflect on the impact of each.
Pen Exercise
Take a pen and place it horizontally between your teeth and say the same line. Watch how it helps in clarity and the throw of your voice. This is one of the best exercises for enunciation as well.
Skincare
Even a touch of skincare is part of the ritual; not because I need to look different, but because the act itself centers me, a reminder that self-care is self-respect. These little preparations form the scaffolding on which confidence can stand tall. And here’s the secret: this formula isn’t reserved for anchors, performers, or public speakers. Confidence = preparation + presence.
So next time, whether you’re walking into a boardroom, speaking up in a meeting, or simply facing yourself in the mirror, know that preparation gives you grounding, and presence gives you grace. Together, they become the confidence that outshines everything else. Leaving you with a few ‘Spotlight Tricks’, whether you are in a meeting or on a date:
Reframe the Nervous Energy: Instead of labelling it “fear,” Label it as fuel. Tell yourself: “This energy means I care, and I can channel it.”
Shift the Focus – Nervousness often comes from focusing on yourself (“What if I mess up? What will they think?”). Flip the spotlight outward — to your audience, your message, your purpose. Remind yourself: “This is about them, not me.
Now, despite all this, does confidence mean that everything will be picture-perfect? Well, NO! Confidence is not a concealer to hide your flaws; it’s rather your strong foundation that highlights your glow despite the imperfections that reside in us. And the next time you doubt your confidence, don’t wait for it to appear like magic. Build it. Prepare for the moment. Show up fully present. And watch how the confidence you carry transforms into the beauty the world sees.
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